Another birthday, another piece of reflective writing. I was a bit hesitant to write one of these this year, but looking back at my previous posts, I was glad to have a collection of my past thoughts and memories - so hey, why not? Who knows, when I'm 50 I might want to look back and see how much or little things changed.
If you're interested, you can check out last year's post here!
Funny really; similarly to last year I am still (1) jobless, (2) not financially independent, and (3) still living under my parents' roof. But here's to hoping that changes this year!
1. Acquaintances: I met a lot of new people this year, especially having moved to Singapore. Even though it's impossible to become close with everyone I've met, I'm still very thankful for having gotten to meet so many different people from different walks of life. Funny thing is, I don't even think most people realise how much they have impacted me, even though I have may have only met them once or twice.
2. Friends: I think more so this year than ever before, it has become very clear to me the people that are likely to be there for the rest of my life. And that clarity is something that I've come to really appreciate.
3. Confidence: I have never felt more at home in my own skin, or assured of my place in this world - something 16-year old Fung wasn't sure would ever happen.
4. Relationship: 3.5 years with the same person and it has yet to get old.
5. Family: Even though most families, mine included, have their fair share of disagreements and difficulties, there is no denying that my family loves me, and vice versa. Not that many children or siblings are this lucky.
6. Passion: Psychology has been a passion of mine for a very long time now. To think that I was just given this past year to dedicate my time to research, conduct, and write my very own dissertation is really quite amazing. So thankful for this opportunity and the people that have supported me along the way.
7. Gaming: Hilariously enough, playing League has opened so many doors, put me in touch with so many new people, and given me something to care about rather fiercely - sure, some may argue that this last point may not be a great thing, but I'm personally glad it exists. #thanksRiot
8. Chicken Pox: Yup yup, strange, but true. I am grateful for having undergone this experience - mainly because now I'm (hopefully) completely immune to it. But this has a somewhat deeper implication for me:
9. Humility: Honestly, honestly, when I was at the worst stage of the pox, I felt... Ugly. With blisters, puss and scabs all over my face and body, I was so afraid that it would never heal and I would look like that forever. It was a terrifying thought, and a fear that I have always had. But once it was gone, and although I am left with a fair few scars, somehow, the whole process has made me more comfortable with how I look. I think having seen how bad it could get, I'm truly grateful for my appearance, makeup or no.
10. Security: I have always been grateful for how safe and secure my day-to-day life has been. I understand that people elsewhere are not given the same opportunities to live in a country that isn't war-torn, or to have parents that work hard in order to place a comfortable roof over their heads.
11. Independence: I'm at the precipice of becoming an adult - in 8 days I would have handed in my thesis, and begin looking for a job. This is something that both excites, and scares me at the same time. But I'm oh so looking forward to it.
12. Social Media: Admittedly, I felt myself getting just a tad too over-involved with social media last year. I would post on Instagram almost daily, hashtag up the waz, and feel a little bothered when my likes aren't doing well - or that my engagement rate isn't all that great. But after the whole getting sick fiasco... Somehow that break from it all has brought to light how unhappy social media actually made me.
13. Streaming: Streaming was such an experience, and I would not be who I am right now without it. It has trained me to talk to strangers, to engage people in conversation, and to stop second guessing my opinions and my thoughts.
14. End of streaming: But that said, I am also grateful that I have closed off that chapter of my life. Without having to worry about engaging with an audience, keeping a schedule, constantly bringing energy to the stream, and coming up with new and fresh ideas to entertain my viewers - It's quite a relief. And I can actually enjoy playing League again.
15. Technology: Outside of the obvious fact that it makes life so much easier, technology has been so imperative for me to keep up with the lives of the people I love. I've met some amazing people over the years, and sadly a lot of them are all over the place - but at the same time, when I close my eyes and envision a map of the world, it really does warm me to know that I have people that although are continents away, will be there for me if I need them to be.
16. Korean Skin-care: Yupp, I've only just discovered this whole new world of Korean skincare and boy oh boy, they are amazing. Highly recommend you guys check it out if you haven't already.
17. Coffee: Literally the best drug in the world.
18. Comfort: I used to believe that nobody wanted to know, or cared about what I thought. And while I understand that this world is so filled with people that have their own opinions, and oftentimes are so loud with their own they cannot hear those of others - I'm not so afraid to put my voice out there anymore. It's less about the embarrassment of others hearing me, and more of believing that my opinions matter too. And it's quite a lovely feeling.
19. Reuben's Listening Ear: Ohhh man. Again, related to the above. This poor guy has to listen to ALL my thoughts, and there are a lot of them. And credit to him, he always listens, and is happy to discuss whatever random thing that came to my mind. Never once does he make me feel like I'm making a fool of myself, or that my words are not worth hearing. (Love you boo)
20. Travels: I have been given the unprecedented luxury of travelling quite a bit in the last 4 years. I have had more than my fair share of adventures and every step I have taken beyond the walls of my home I have taken with gratitude. I will, and do not, take those trips for granted.
21. Love: I know that my love for love may be a little... Above average on a scale of 1 to 10. It is very easy for me to feel a deep affection for numerous people and sometimes sure, it hurts when things don't work out - but more often than not it has made me so, so happy. As Reuben would put it: "there is nothing greater than love." I don't know how I ended up being wired this way, that my heart is so easily warmed by stories, people, and puppies, that tears can come to me just by thinking about my friends, or family, or kittens; but I do love that I love... to love and be loved.
22. Happiness: This isn't a constant, nothing in life is. There are ups and there are downs, but happiness in itself is such a precious, and under-appreciated commodity. I am just thankful for the little moments: when I get a text from a friend, or a word of encouragement from my parents, or even the knowledge that the apple I just bought is sweet.
23. God: Truthfully, our relationship has been a little rocky as of late, but it is getting better, and despite whatever struggles I go through I am constantly grateful for having Him in my life, and the love, care, and blessings He has bestowed upon me.
24. Last but not least, You, my dear reader: It's definitely not a common occurrence, but I have gotten a few emails and messages from people telling me they have read this blog. And you have no idea how much it warms me up inside and how happy it makes me. I cannot thank you enough for taking the time out of your busy schedule to give a hoot about what I'm up to. So thank you very, very much.